they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
