Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
