And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
