I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
there is puke in my bra ... again
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
