Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
