Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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