We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
