No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Drake has all the answers
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
