Who did Billy Mays play for?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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