dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
