Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All the doctor said was why
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
