so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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