so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
