Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
