you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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