I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
wow bdsm is so cute
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