mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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