please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
