The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize