just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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