We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
