It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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