Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
