we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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