Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
