Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
