thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
