Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
