We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
