Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
