He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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