i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize