bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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