Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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