Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
