We named our party play list daddy issues
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
