It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
