The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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