the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
