dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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