After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
