Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
this will be a night to untag.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
