I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
