i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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