yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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