Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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