I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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