No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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