I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
