Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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