i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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