This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
