im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
