I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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