so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
