it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize