idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
