I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
